Criminal psychologists, sociologists, and others who study human behavior have gone into prisons to ask convicted rapists and murderers how they chose their targets. What they have learned may surprise you. Attackers don't look for the smallest woman, or the one who seems weakest. They're not really concerned with what she's wearing or how far from the store she parked. They look for what's not there: confidence andawareness. Criminals are expert in interpreting the nuances of human behavior, and they can quickly size up who most likely will and won't fight back.
Someone walking with her head down, perhaps with her arms crossed in front of her body, projects insecurity. Because she's trying so hard to be invisible, she's not paying attention to what's going on around her. This leaves her open to a surprise attack.
Conversely, a woman who walks briskly with her head up, eyes alert and scanning the scene around her, signals, "Don't mess with me." According to many of the convicts interviewed, they won't. Imagine the following scenario: A serial rapist lurks in the shadows outside a shopping center. He's assessing potential targets as they exit the mall and head into the parking lot. Who would make an easy victim?
- First is a cute 21-year-old in a slinky dress, probably going to meet her friends for a night on the town. She strides purposefully to her car.
- Then, there's you, dressed for function rather than to impress, in relaxed-fit jeans and a comfortable top. You're chatting on your cell phone with a friend.
- And here comes an elderly lady, toting shopping bags and looking around the parking lot as she makes her way slowly to her car.
- Who is he going to pick? Not the youngest of the three. The strong, alert way she moved indicated she would fight for herself. Attackers don't want to have to battle with their victims; that's too likely to draw unwanted attention and intervention.
He won't choose the oldest woman, either. Even though her arms were full of packages, she continually noted what was going on around her as she made her way through the parking lot. She would see him approaching, and have time to prepare.
That leaves you. Because your attention is divided between your phone conversation and your walk to the car, you don't even know he's there. You've made yourself the easiest target for him to surprise, subdue, and violate-probably to the point of serious injury, possibly to death.
Don't allow yourself to become easy prey. If you feel you need a boost in projecting that "Don't mess with me" signal, get into a self-defense class designed for women. In my class, everything we do is designed to strengthen that double shield of confidence and awareness.
_2-2.JPG)
